🎓 Balancing Research, Motherhood, and Student Life in the UK

 

When people hear the phrase “research student”, they often picture long hours in the library, late nights with journals and data, and the quiet intensity of writing chapters and defending arguments. That image is true — but for me, it is only part of the story. My reality is more complex. Alongside my research, I am also a mother raising a young child in a foreign country, and a student ambassador, representing my university and sharing my journey with other students.

Balancing these three roles has not been easy, but it has been deeply meaningful. This is the story of my struggle, my growth, and the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

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🌍 The Journey to the UK

Coming to the UK for postgraduate study was a dream I had nurtured for years. I wanted more than a degree; I wanted an experience that would transform both my career and my perspective on life. Leaving home was never easy, especially with a child depending on me, but I believed that the sacrifice would one day prove worthwhile.

When I arrived, I quickly realised that the challenges were far greater than I had imagined. Adapting to a new academic system, navigating cultural differences, and managing the demands of being both a parent and a full-time student often felt overwhelming. There were days I questioned whether I had made the right decision.

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👩‍👧 Motherhood in a New Country

Motherhood doesn’t pause when you become a student. Every lecture, seminar, or research deadline has to be woven around meals, bedtime routines, school runs, and those unpredictable moments when your child simply needs you.

Raising a child in the UK came with unique challenges:

Childcare costs: Nursery and babysitting fees are among the highest in the world, and for a student on a budget, they can feel impossible.

Support networks: Back home, I had extended family to lean on. Here, I had to build new support systems from scratch, finding friends and colleagues who understood my reality.

Cultural adjustment: My child was adjusting just as much as I was — to a new school, a new environment, and sometimes, to the absence of familiar family faces.

Despite these struggles, I also found beauty in this journey. Watching my child adapt, learn, and thrive in a new environment reminded me that resilience is something we both share.

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🎓 The Life of a Research Student

Research is demanding. Unlike taught programmes, where the structure is clear, research requires a high degree of independence. I had to:

Develop a research proposal strong enough to convince my supervisors of its significance.

Master the art of time management, balancing hours in the library with school runs and family time.

Face moments of self-doubt, wondering if my work was “good enough.”

There were evenings when I sat at my desk after putting my child to bed, fighting sleep as I typed paragraphs that would later be rewritten. There were mornings when I arrived at campus already exhausted from being a parent. Yet, through persistence, I discovered that my dual roles — mother and researcher — gave me strength. Each role shaped the other.

Motherhood taught me patience and discipline, which translated into better focus in my academic work. Research taught me perseverance, which helped me handle the unpredictable challenges of parenting.

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🗣️ Becoming a Student Ambassador

Amidst all of this, I also took on the role of student ambassador. At first, I wondered if I was adding too much to my already full plate. But being an ambassador gave me a sense of purpose beyond my own struggles.

As an ambassador, I share my story with other students, particularly those who feel invisible — international students, student-parents, and those juggling responsibilities beyond their studies. I represent resilience and possibility. My presence tells others, “If I can do it, so can you.”

I also discovered that sharing my journey made me feel less alone. For every story I told, I found students who related to me, who said, “I thought I was the only one.” In these conversations, I realised that my role wasn’t just about representing the university — it was about building a community.

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💡 The Lessons I’ve Learned

Balancing these three roles has been a constant learning process. Here are some of the most important lessons I’ve carried with me:

1. Asking for Help is Strength, Not Weakness

At first, I tried to do everything alone. I thought asking for help would make me appear weak. But I quickly learned that support systems — whether childcare services, student advisors, or even friends — are essential. The ability to reach out is a sign of resilience, not failure.

2. Time Management is Survival

As a research student and mother, time is my most precious resource. I learned to schedule my days in “study sprints” around nap times and school hours. I also learned to let go of perfection. Sometimes, 70% effort completed on time is better than 100% effort delivered too late.

3. Small Wins Matter

In research, progress is slow. In parenting, progress is sometimes invisible. I learned to celebrate small victories: finishing a chapter draft, attending a seminar, or simply making it through a long day. Those small wins add up to bigger successes.

4. Resilience is Contagious

My child watches me juggle roles, face challenges, and keep moving forward. I may feel exhausted, but I know I am teaching resilience by example. That, to me, is one of the greatest gifts I can give.

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❤️ A Message to Other Student-Parents

If you are a parent considering or already pursuing higher education, I want you to know this: your journey will be difficult, but it will also be deeply rewarding. You will feel torn, tired, and sometimes discouraged. But you will also experience pride, growth, and the unique joy of knowing you are building a future not just for yourself, but for your child.

Do not compare your path to those who walk without the responsibilities you carry. Your story is different, but it is also powerful. Every assignment you finish, every seminar you attend, every late-night study session after bedtime is proof of your determination.

Remember: you are not just chasing a degree — you are teaching your child the value of perseverance, ambition, and sacrifice.

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Conclusion

Life as a research student, mother, and ambassador is not easy. It is a constant juggle between responsibilities, deadlines, and personal commitments. Yet, it is also a journey of resilience, growth, and self-discovery.

When I look back, I don’t just see the struggles. I see the strength it took to keep going. I see the community I found through my ambassador role. I see the lessons I am teaching my child — that dreams are worth chasing, even when the road is tough.

This journey has shown me that I am not just a student or a parent or an ambassador. I am all three — and in embracing all these roles, I have become stronger than I ever imagined.

So to every student-parent out there: keep going. You are not alone, and your story is worth telling. One day, you will look back and realise that these struggles were not just challenges — they were stepping stones.

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